jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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