1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we made out on top of his cat.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
