this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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