That's when you crack a 10am beer
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
