So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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