i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
