Best friends brother. Beat that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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