I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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