how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
