you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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