Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
