I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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