: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
