just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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