Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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