Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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