after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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