Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
