I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
