I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
