..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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