from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
