Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
