People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
