Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
