can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
