...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
