ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
