I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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