hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
