Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
