I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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