my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
