I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
