As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
