Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
