There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
