SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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