i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
