you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
