Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
