So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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