Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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