Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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