when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
