Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
