stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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