Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
