"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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