You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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